Why I decided to take a break from creating to sell.
At heart I am a people pleaser and it’s something I am actively trying to break away from. Not because I don’t want to be kind and helpful to my friends and community, that is far from the truth. I have to be more selfish in order to heal myself from the deeper family programming that says who I am is intrinsically linked to what I can do for others. So much so that I completely lost and may have never known a version of myself that exists outside of their needs. In particular, my mothers needs. But that ultimately trickled down to all the other members of the family and made me the token caretaker.
This has been something I have been working on deprogramming for many years and it has actually created a separation between me and my family. I also started to notice that everything I created had a certain element of pleasing others. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that marketing and selling a service or product is about pleasing a customer. There is an art to the balance of using one’s creativity and vision. That being said, it was affecting my creativity and I was putting huge passion projects on the back burner, fearful that the outcome of my creations would not be accepted or marketable.
I wanted to take a step back to get centered in just enjoying the process more than planning or even worrying about any outcomes. Passion projects that mean more to me personally, and have nothing to do with sales. In fact it’s the opposite in that I don’t want to sell them at all, but I do want to share my process and what inspires me to create.
I have a Capricorn Moon so success and making money comforts me and I honestly cannot think of a time that I have not been extremely driven to accomplish my goals. Pluto has been transiting my moon conjunct my north node in the 2nd house of values completely transforming my beliefs around money and success. **
Creativity has been a major force in my life. It has not been until a few years ago that I could clearly see how important it is for me to have it in my life fully and on my terms.
Will I sell again? Undoubtedly yes! I would love more than anything to make a massive amount of money off doing what I love most with my creativity. What that looks like I still have to think about that more. But what I do know is that it won’t be all consuming and I won’t be made into a production machine. My goal is to find the balance that works for me and my creativity.
Has anyone else felt this way? Do you have ways of running your creative business that doesn’t kill your creative spirit? What systems do you use that help keep the creative flow alive? Please share in the comments. I would love to hear your experiences.
**Pluto the sign of Death & Rebirth can be very Transformational in one’s astrology chart when it triggers certain planets and angles. It can be Life changing.